Remember is that no two people will have self care that looks exactly the same. Your recovery and healing are completely personal. Being patient and kind with yourself regardless of how you feel before and after your abortion is the most important part.
There is no right or wrong way to feel. Where you expected there to be sadness, there may only be a sense of relief. By the same token, the opposite may occur and you experience a sadness you did not expect. Pain you were told would subside in a few days may linger for much longer, or be virtually non existent.
Self care means that you give yourself the time and space to feel the way you are feeling, without judgement or expectation. It can mean crying your eyes out or not shedding a single tear. It is something that happens hours, days, months or even years after your abortion.
Self care looks different for everyone. It is a way to look at your needs and prioritize them. This isn’t always easy, especially when we are taught to take care of our family, friends, our neighbors and it leaves us last. Self care teaches us to take care of yourself the way you would treat someone else you love.
There are not very many spaces where self care is taught. There isn’t a precise answer on what the correct way to take care of ourselves. Like most things, the more you practice self care, the better you become at it’s practice. Self care isn’t a one time thing, and then you check it off your to-do list. Self care is an ongoing process and can be built into your everyday life. Sometimes you need to ask other people for help, other times self care is what you need in yourself.
Self care can be especially difficult for people who are busy taking care of other people. When we are on an airplane, they tell us that in an event of an emergency, we need to put on our own oxygen mask before we assist someone else. Why do you think flight attendants take so much time making this request?
What are some examples of self care?
-Reading
-Eating yummy foods
-Cuddling
-Drinking water
-Biking
-Drawing
-Taking a long walk outside
-Watching a movie
Ideas on how you can prepare before your abortion:
FOOD!
Have some food ready. Make sure you have groceries and/or prepare meals. Make it easy to reheat or just snack on food after your procedure.
Clean CLOTHES!
Try to have some clean comfy clothes like PJ’s or socks. Having these tasks done ahead of time, will help you take the time to rest and not worry about taking care of them after. Don’t feel bad asking others for some support.
Buy PADS!
(wipes too, if you’re into that) Baby wipes are cheaper than the marketed “feminine wipes” and work just as well!
Things that bring you COMFORT!
Gather books, magazines, crayons, coloring books, music, Netflix or whatever else you want to do while you wait.
Heating Pad!
Buy a heating pad or hot water bottle ahead of time so you have it on hand to help ease cramping. You can also fill a sock with rice and microwave it in 30 second intervals until it gets warm.